Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Had a sudden urge to blog, because something has been bothering me. Badly.

Something awfully disturbing happened today at my workplace, a childcare centre. Sad to say, this matter totally changed my perception of a childcare centre.

Quote from Wikipedia : "Day care; child care is provided in nurseries or crèches or by a nanny caring for children in their own homes. It can also take on a more formal structure, with education, child development, discipline and even preschool education falling into the fold of services."

I always thought that a childcare centre is a great place for little children, as it provides a conducive environment for them to grow up in, equipping them with necessary skills and knowledge that are beneficial for them, and also makes learning for them an enriching one. *Though I wasn't enrolled into one when I was younger.

So, what exactly happened...?

When I first met you, you looked like you're a kind-hearted and patient teacher, with a passion for teaching. Well, to me, these are the least expectations of a teacher. At least, to me.

Sometimes, when a child is good, we can/should implement positive reinforcement to reward the child for his behaviour. So that, the child knows that he/she is doing the right thing.

Similarly, when a child misbehaves, we can implement negative reinforcement to punish them, at the same time teach them to do things the right way..., educate them..., AND NOT FUCKING RESORT TO DESPICABLE ACTS. Like what you did.

It pained me to see how you totured that poor child. It pained me to see how you pasted that zip-lock bag; with a cockroach inside, on the poor child's face. It pained me too see how you pinned him down on the floor and pasted the thing on the his face when the poor child tried to resist. It pained me to see how he knocked his head against the floor while resisting, even though he knew that he was no match for a moster like you. It pained me to see how you finally put the thing into his shorts, before letting him off, and it pained me, to see how the poor child pulled down his shorts to remove that it from his shorts, while being laughed at by his fellow peers. It pained me, to see the poor child, that vulnerable, that helpless, that embarrassed.

It fucking pained me to see how a big-sized adult picked on a child, that helpless. Or should I say, you are worst then a beast, when even animals have feelings. It fucking pained me, to see how the poor child cried, struggled, and begged you, and still, you did not let him go.

What kind of shitass teacher are you? Before doing that, have you ever thought how afraid that poor child might be? Have you even though of how embarrassed he would be?, doing that to him infront of his friends? Have you ever thought that whatever you do to him might result in a negative impact on the child? You are fucking.... Inhumane.

Right now, I'm fucking upset and angry with myself. Why didn't I do anything to stop that bitch! I'm fucking useless! Fancy calling me, "Teacher Lawrence", when I don't even fucking deserve the title! I'm sorry. Really sorry.

Grrrr...9:12 AM

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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Pretty much want to blog about my outing with didi but totally lost my mood to. Totally. You asked me to accompany him to go out with E and T, but I really can't make it since I'm meeting Nana in the evening for a jog. I mean, it will be pretty rush for me right? and, I won't be able to spend much time with them.

I already promised you that I will go for the next outing with them! Can't you be more understanding and reasonable? I seriously don't know why you're that upset with me because of that, and even say things that somehow hurt me, a little.

Fucking Pain. My Heart.

Grrrr...12:22 PM

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Friday, March 26, 2010

Another tiring day at work! Took quite a number of pictures of the kids. Shall compile all of them into an album one day. Hehs.

Later on, went to meet Wei Jie for dinner. Whee~~~! My craving for japanese cuisine, especially sashimi, was finally satisfied! Yummmms! Let me recall, I ordered Chicken Katsu Don, Wei Jie ordered some salmon thingy, and also quite a number of plates of sushisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! We were awfully full~~ Yeahh?

Went to catch a movie later on. Freaking awesome! Curious over what we watched? ASK ME! HAHA. Had a great time with Wei Jie, as always.

ARRGGGGGHHHHH! Supposed to be a happy post. But something aweful happened! !@#$

Plus, Didi is still angry with me. ;( I'm sorry for being so mean to you. Forgive korkor okay? 我知错了。 对不起啦! ._.

Anyway, right now, I only want you to be happy. I know that you have been trying to get over that matter. Well, you did, but at this point of time, he's doing this to you. No matter what, I'm always there for you. Always. Don't be sad already okay?

)):

Grrrr...9:16 AM

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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Bad day bad day bad day! Think Didi is angry with me. Not in the mood to do anything. Sigh. Hope things will change for the better.

Didi, if you ever see this, don't be angry okay? Korkor is sorry. Forgive korkor okayy? )):

Grrrr...11:21 PM

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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I think too much I think too much I think too much! :DD

Grrrr...8:40 AM

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I'm sorry if anyone finds this post emo. But I just wanna' write out what I'm feeling right now. Yeahh, pretty weird huh? The previous post was a happy one and now here I am emoing. Hehs. Well, it can't be helped.

Had a really good sleep last night, a great one I'd say. But,...

I seriously don't know why a minor thing would get you so upset, or rather, worked up. I swear I didn't mean anything. I fucking swear. I just wanna' help, (it may sound stupid but...,) to summon a monster, that's all. I even offered my account in exchange. Well, you could change back your password after that if you want to.

But I have a doubt, if you could lent it to your cous, then...? She? I? Nonetheless, I do not wish to start another conflict because of this so leave this aside.

Why did you have to say those things? They hurt, badly

)):

Grrrr...12:20 AM

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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Alot of people have been asking me to update my blog, so here I am!

WHEEEEE~~ Went out with Kelvin didi after my work!

In fact, he came to my house. We had a great time together! But I could tell that didi is still rather upset over that matter. Cheer up okay! SMILE! And so, we slack and slack and slacked till 8 and went to the food court at J8 for dinner.

Poor didi is sick and so he had to eat something light. Oh well. Anyway, we had bubble tea at Koi! and then , we chatted for awhile over there.

I had a really day with Kelvin didi! We are like blood brothers lahh! HAHA. HAPPY TTM! *grins* Those who know me personally will know why. Hehs!

Here's a picture I took at my workplace:



Isn't she adorable?

Grrrr...9:02 AM

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Friday, March 19, 2010

我不是不相信你。 只是，经过了那件事后，我相信我们都领悟到我们对彼此的重要性，彼此是多么的深爱着对方。 所以，我希望你能了解我的处境和我的感受。 我为什么会突然发脾气，是因为我不想再失去你。 因为，那种感觉很不好受。 你对我是多么的重要你知道吗？ 我好痛恨自己所做的一切，我不是个好男朋友。 但是，我愿意改，我愿意为你而改。 也许是我自私吧，我真的不想你和其他的男生说话。 我宁愿你觉得我是个自私自利的人。 因为，我真的希望在你心目中只有我一个人。 同样的，我也不想类似的事再发生。 我能保证，我只爱你一个人。 你也答应我了啊。 嗯，我相信你。 你是我这一辈子，最爱， 最爱的人。 唯一一个。 我爱你。

Lastly, I'm sorry Flavian. I promised to be happy then but I didn't. Nonetheless, I had a great time with you and Wei Jie!

爱你爱你爱你！ :DD

Grrrr...7:25 PM

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Coughs. Hmmmm.

I have been reflecting for the past few days. Friends, Bffs, Nana, and not forgetting, you, must have been the awesomest gifts from God to me. For that, I'm really grateful.

Regarding that, I'd think it might not be a bad thing afterall. Because, I've learned to cherish whatever I have with you, more. In fact, I'm obsessed with you.

Anddddd, NANA! Thanks for being with me whenever I'm in need of help. LOVE YOU.

And and andddddddddddddddddd, MELISSA AKA COW! Nice meeting you! Another addition to my BFF collection. Hehs. LOVE YOU TOO.

Of course, not forgetting my sweet little Coral! Dad would like to apologise for being so petty. Sorry for not being understanding. LOVE YOU THREE.

Last but not least, I LOVE YOU, LAST.

Grrrr...7:54 AM

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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I have been having nightmares recently. )):

Grrrr...7:34 AM

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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sucky day!

Supposed to go out today! But someone cannot make it, LAST MINUTE. Hence, I ended up doing nothing. Ehh no. I slept the whole day in fact.

Not gonna' organise anymore outings. This sucks.

Grrrr...6:34 AM

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Friday, March 12, 2010

WHHHHEEE!

Went clubbing with Wei Jie and Flavvy, along with "sensei" and his friend, just now! Happy Maximum! :DDD

I tried quite a number of new drinks! I can't remember the names though, since I wasn't the one who ordered them, oh well. I'll be going with them only anyway, so, they order, I drink! *grins*

After awhile, the whole lot thought I was drunk! (They were making the "he has gone drunk" sign lorr!) HAHA. Guys, I was not, just plain high ok!

But Flavvy got really drunk. Oh well, I guessed it was probably the phone call that he had with "I don't know who" before we went in. Nevertheless, cheer up flavvy! ((:

Ok. Actually, there were a lot more to blog about. But, I guess I'll just end it here. I recieved a call, and.. I really don't have the mood to blog anymmore. Sorry.

Grrrr...6:00 PM

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Today.

Yes, today. Will be a new start of my life. No more emo posts for me. :DD

Grrrr...4:06 PM

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FUCK LAHH! FUCK IT! FUCKING KILL ME!

DO YOU HAVE TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS! HUH? I REALLY DESERVE ALL THESE MEHH? WHY ARR. I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND LEHH. WTF? WTF! WTF?!

I REALLY CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I WANNA' FUCKING DIE. I SWEAR I WILL. I GONNA' GET SOME FUCKING PILLS AND KILL MYSELF! WTFFFFFFFFFF! IN WHAT WAY DID I EXACTLY DO YOU WRONG? TELL ME LEHH! DON'T TORURE ME LIKE THIS CAN? I HAVE BEEN A C C O M O D A T I N G LEHH! R E P R O C I C A T E WON'T YOU? WTF LAHH!

YOU JUST WANNA' SEE ME DIE RIGHT! WHAT THE FUCK DID I REALLY DO ARR? WTF! THE DAY YOU BETRAYED ME TILL NOW, I FORGAVE YOU BUT DO YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE DOING THIS TO ME? I DIDN'T EVEN PUT THE F U C K I N G B L A M E ON YOU! FUCK LAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

DID I ASK MUCH? NO RIGHT! NEVER! WHY DID YOU SHOW ME THAT FUCKING FUCKED UP ATTITUDE! I'M FEELING FUCKING TERRIBLE! WHY!

Why... )):...

Grrrr...3:20 AM

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Monday, March 8, 2010

;(

Playing the 'never-reply' game again! )): Sad sad.

Since you have decided to end it then do it! 长痛不如短痛！

Don't let any more things develop further! We still have a lot more to accomplish with Flavvy! )):

BB begging you.

Grrrr...5:26 AM

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Sunday, March 7, 2010

Assurance. I need it too. I Love You.

Grrrr...2:36 AM

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Saturday, March 6, 2010

It's freaking 2.30am and why am I still awake! That's because I just came back home from supper with Wei Jieee and Flavvy! Happy Maximum! :DD

Went out with Wei Jieee to celebrate his Birthday! Once again,Happy Belated Birthday! WHEE!

Went to Manhattan Fish Market for lunchie! Wei Jieee ordered some weird herby fish thingy, and brownie with choco ice cream. Yumms. And, I ordered fish and chips, and mudpie! Yumms yumms! We ended up really full and later one went to catch, "Alice in Wonderland". Sadly, I find the movie creepy much! Probably because a lot of the characters resemble that of clowns. I HATE CLOWNS! )):

Went to the airport to look for Flavvy after the movie. Pighead was watching AC while working! Slacker! We waited for Flavvy to knock off from work, while he was busy accounting some stuff and I think he was pretty screwed. =X

Went to Chomp chomp after that for suppppppper! WHEE! AWESOME TIME TOGETHER. Let's just hope everything will stay this way forever. I love the both of you, more to *ahem*!

HAPPY!

Grrrr...10:39 AM

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

我晓得电话少了； 问候少了； 关心少； 见面少了； 言语少了， 我可否问原因。
我的直觉说着别孩子气。 你演技傻的可以， 到哪里去都不问结局。


我决定放弃， 不爱你免得我被迫失去。 我决定珍惜，爱自己才称的上勇气。

Grrrr...6:45 AM

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Bought something really special for you. Hope you like it. *grins* No wait, you better do! It's fucking expensive okay! But, how am I going to give it to you? I mean.. As?

Sigh.

I don't wanna' carry on with that kind of lifestyle anymore. F's right. I'm hurting myself. But, how It's too addictive..

The day is drawing near. I wonder what happens next.

Grrrr...8:04 AM

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Monday, March 1, 2010

Someone please wake me up. Just godammit wake me up.

I have been doing things that I know that are fucking wrong, and that I'll end up hurting myself. But, I just can't help, doing them.

Would you stop me if you know that I have been doing these things?

I'm feeling terrible, fucking terrible. I feel like I'm ruining my own life. Still, I believe all these are worthwhile. I love you.

Through all these, I find relieve.

Grrrr...9:21 PM

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